Forgiveness Process

1. Sit somewhere where you will not be disturbed
2. Close your eyes and think of someone you are holding anger, hatred, or resentment towards in your heart.
3. Take a couple of deep breaths and let yourself feel your feelings without having to do anything about them.
4. Now, realise that the person’s hurtful action can’t be changed. It’s in the past and there is absolutely nothing that can be done to affect it now.  Feel the finality of that.
5. Also realise that this person may never change. They are the way they are.  Take a few deep breaths as you accept the truth of that.
6. Now, see that the person is the way they are – and did whatever they did – because they have some pain, some lack, some woundedness. They may not even realize it themselves, by it’s there.  People hurt others only because they are hurt themselves.  See them through the eyes of compassion for their own suffering.  Imagine they are a child who is hurting, lashing out at others in their own pain.  Can you feel compassion for them?
7. Sit quietly for a minute or two more, just feeling the expansion that compassion – in any amount – brings to the heart.

Remember: It’s okay to still feel angry; the purpose of this exercise is to begin to release the pain in your heart, not to excuse others for their actions.  Keep repeating this exercise until you feel a shift, however small, in your heart.  Your forgiveness will grow as you feel more compassion.